nov
23
Geplaatst door:
Roland
23-11-2010 12:10
Had another profound experience with my peer coach of ICA yesterday. We are finished officially, but we developed a friendship which I value deeply and we remain in contact and call once in a while.
I outlined a fear that I had. A fear around a closure in my life. I identify this feeling as a self sabotaging action. All is great, everything is settled. But I have a fear that it will go wrong. There are no signs for that at all, but the fear exists.
First, an acknowledgment. The closure is a big thing, Charles said. For me, a realization happened immediately: I’ve been taking this too lightly. How about acknowledging to myself that this is no small deal. It created space, space essential for the rest of the conversation.
Charles’ coaching with me revolves around a room. A room outside of what we call reality. It’s attached to my being instead of my physical self. It’s outside “reality” but that makes it not less real. A room in which I can rest. In which I have a beautiful view of nature. In which I lay down to rest. And I can decorate it myself. Charles shifted the perspective to this room. How do you see the issue from the room? I saw it as a jagged line from now to a future moment in time. The jagged line was not that efficient, because the other line, representing all is happening according to plan, was a straight line and also present.
Charles asked me to flatten the line, but it wouldn’t flat out completely. Then Charles asked who was in control in my room: me or the line. He told a story about a king that rules his land and has great power. But if he’s smart, he’s not really showing his power, he’s just using the notion of it to rule his land.
After that, I could flatten the line and it merged with the straight line. It produced a balanced feeling. The fear has it’s place among the more positive feeling around the issue. The fear is gone, but I did not push it away. It has it’s place, but not separate from the positive feeling, but together with it.
The whole experience reminded me of the soul and ego. I need both to work together to make it work.
Visit coach Charles’ website here.